Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Of Lion and Man (an unending conflict)


With the extremely rapid growth of human population many questions arise pertaining to different issues such as ecology and human-related disasters/man-made climate change, natural resources management, etc. Another topic that many would find to be of a lesser importance is the impact of our growth on other species. Some adapt quite well to the new, man-made environments; the rat is in fact thriving on the garbage we produce in mass quantities. Big-size animals such as the elephant, the tiger, the lion or numerous others are rather on the brink of extinction.

The question we must ask ourselves is the following: what is the extent of the efforts we are willing to make so that other species may cohabit with us? Do we have a conflict with other living beings that inhabit the earth and if so, are we open to make some difficult choices in order to share some of our space with them? Unfortunately, most often the answer is no: we see animals, trees, insects, etc. as a menace to our security and/or well-being or sometimes also as obstacles to our progression/domination. Thus we have found ways to suppress/exterminate them or at least push them away.

There are some tribes in Africa where the lion is seen as an enemy, due to the fact the the lion preys on some of the same livestock as tribesmen do. Some outside entities (who could be considered as mediators in some aspects) are trying to make them change this behavior by paying them for not killing the lions. The goal is to change attitudes by compensating livestock losses with tourism industry's potentially huge profits (no lions = no tourism). This may be hard to implement since killing the lions is ingrained in ancestral traditions, which could make the whole change process difficult to set into place.

Is money the only way to go or is there a change that may come from knowledge and from a change of perspective? Could someone “make” the tribesmen admire and love the lions? The question remains unanswered.

Monday, October 10, 2011

''I hate you more than I love myself''



(image from toonpool.com)


    Hate. Such a powerful, strong and destructive emotion. The most difficult emotion to deal with when there is a conflict.

    At some point in my practice I was a mediator in a conflict between two neighbors. A conflict that got ugly, very ugly. Both parties hated each other. They waited too long, got through court, lawyers and judges before asking for a mediation.

    It all began in a small co-property. Both neighbors had to share the co-property terrace, both had the right to use it. But they didn't communicate about when and how they will share the terrace. One was young and liked to party, the other was quiet and had a new family.

    The dispute has been going on for 5 years. Both of them lost a lot. One lost his job and couldn't pay the lawyer's fee anymore, the other one got a divorce mostly because of the time and energy spent with the pursuit. At least that is what they said. Still police was involved. They yelled at each other in front of family, friend and neighbors, they said death threats and punched each other in the face.

    When they came in the office neither of them wanted to be in the same room. At some point they accepted to sit in the office around a big round table and talk. Just talk. One of them said ''I hate you more than I love myself, my family or my friends''.

    Such powerful words, I still remember the look on his face. It made me realize how far Hate can bring somebody, make him forget about the love of oneself and the love of people who are important to us. Before feeling hate just take a moment to think what it can do to you and the ones you love, the lives that it can destroy and the power that it can take away from you. The power to control your life and the capacity to be happy.

    Monday, October 3, 2011

    The symbols of conflict

    Lately I read some of Gustav Jung's books. He used to write a lot about the importance of archetypes and images for human beings. When we think about something or someone we have an image that comes to our mind.
    Disputes, conflicts and misunderstandings are a part of everyday's life. Everybody has a general or specific image of conflict.
    This image is different for everybody. So today I just wanted to put some pictures that represent conflict for me.

    IMAGE 1:  Money/Wealth




    Money seems to be always present directly or subtly in a conflict and influence it's outcome.

    IMAGE 2: Perception/Perspective



    What is normal, what is not and the perception of THE other.

    IMAGE 3 : Skull





    The ultimate price of a war and violent conflicts : death.

    IMAGE 4: Words


    The power of communication is key to solve a conflict

    IMAGE 5: Blue sky



    This image is powerful for me because it symbolizes hope and change that can occur from a conflict.

    Saturday, October 1, 2011

    Individualism vs collectivism in conflict management PART 2



    First of all individualism vs collectivism is a false dichotomy because it nearly never happens that somebody is 100% an individualist or a collectivist.

    Still as conflict resolution practitioners we need to assess and to understand our client's view of the world and it's impact on the conflict resolution styles and outcomes. 

    Here are the main differences according to Hall (1976) :

    1. Communication 

    individualist : most information in the message , ''I'' is predominant
    collectivist:  minimal information in the message, ''WE'' is predominant

    2. Time

    individualist : time is possessed, time and efficiency, time and productivity, time is owned
    collectivist : time is contextual and relation-oriented

    3. Causes of conflict 

    individualist : individual pride, ego, possessions, sense of autonomy, power 
    collectivist : group harmony, reciprocal sense of favors and obligations, incompatible relation-management

    4. Styles of negotiation: 

    individualist : competition, compromising, problems dealt with openly and directly
    collectivist : avoidance, harmonizing, problems dealt with subtly and discreetly

    5. Power

    individualist : tangible as a source of reward and punishment
    collectivist :  intangible as a source of esteem in the community and the relations

    Here is a video if you want to learn more about individualism, collectivism and political ideologies.