Online Facilitator : Managing virtual teams

(Image from http://esotericonline.tripod.com/esoteric_online_team.htm)

First of all it is important to know that nowadays the description online facilitator can refer to two different things. When you Google the term "online facilitator" many if not most of the links you will find will refer to the possibility to teach online activities and to act as a trainer, tutor or instructor for virtual classes.

The other use of this term which is the purpose of this article describes the online facilitator as a moderator and especially in an online business setting as a team leader who helps participants collaborate and achieve synergy. An online facilitator needs to be able to act as a conflict resolution facilitator in a virtual environment. With the rapid rise of internet, globalization and accessible interactive technologies people tend to spend more and more time in front of their computers, connecting with others around the world. Yet even when people are online they reflect their own personalities, needs and values. We are not another person because we are behind a screen and we feel anonymous. Therefore, online work teams can be as hard to manage as teams in a real office. Online teams usually gather people from different parts of the world who speak various languages, have different cultural backgrounds and display a plethora of work values and/or ethics. 

The question of empowerment and reaching consensus is therefore central to the team's interactions and its underlying mechanism. In the context of online teamwork, an online facilitator possessing a conflict resolution, business and communication background could be much beneficial - if not downright essential - in order to help the team reach their common objectives and agreements in a respectful manner which will preserve positive relationships between individuals involved.

As lately reported in the news with the cyberbulling problems, the virtual world can be as damaging for its users as the real world; that is why we need to assure clear communication patterns and respectful cyber places for the online work environments as well as all human interactions (including online ones).       

Of Lion and Man (an unending conflict)

With the extremely rapid growth of human population many questions arise pertaining to different issues such as ecology and human-related disasters/man-made climate change, natural resources management, etc. Another topic that many would find to be of a lesser importance is the impact of our growth on other species. Some adapt quite well to the new, man-made environments; the rat is in fact thriving on the garbage we produce in mass quantities. Big-size animals such as the elephant, the tiger, the lion or numerous others are rather on the brink of extinction.

The question we must ask ourselves is the following: what is the extent of the efforts we are willing to make so that other species may cohabit with us? Do we have a conflict with other living beings that inhabit the earth and if so, are we open to make some difficult choices in order to share some of our space with them? Unfortunately, most often the answer is no: we see animals, trees, insects, etc. as a menace to our security and/or well-being or sometimes also as obstacles to our progression/domination. Thus we have found ways to suppress/exterminate them or at least push them away.

There are some tribes in Africa where the lion is seen as an enemy, due to the fact the the lion preys on some of the same livestock as tribesmen do. Some outside entities (who could be considered as mediators in some aspects) are trying to make them change this behavior by paying them for not killing the lions. The goal is to change attitudes by compensating livestock losses with tourism industry's potentially huge profits (no lions = no tourism). This may be hard to implement since killing the lions is ingrained in ancestral traditions, which could make the whole change process difficult to set into place.

Is money the only way to go or is there a change that may come from knowledge and from a change of perspective? Could someone “make” the tribesmen admire and love the lions? The question remains unanswered.

Kenya's lions & Maasai warriors

''I hate you more than I love myself''

(image from toonpool.com)

Hate. Such a powerful, strong and destructive emotion. The most difficult emotion to deal with when there is a conflict.

At some point in my practice I was a mediator in a conflict between two neighbors. A conflict that got ugly, very ugly. Both parties hated each other. They waited too long, got through court, lawyers and judges before asking for a mediation.

It all began in a small co-property. Both neighbors had to share the co-property terrace, both had the right to use it. But they didn't communicate about when and how they will share the terrace. One was young and liked to party, the other was quiet and had a new family.

The dispute has been going on for 5 years. Both of them lost a lot. One lost his job and couldn't pay the lawyer's fee anymore, the other one got a divorce mostly because of the time and energy spent with the pursuit. At least that is what they said. Still police was involved. They yelled at each other in front of family, friend and neighbors, they said death threats and punched each other in the face.

When they came in the office neither of them wanted to be in the same room. At some point they accepted to sit in the office around a big round table and talk. Just talk. One of them said ''I hate you more than I love myself, my family or my friends''.

Such powerful words, I still remember the look on his face. It made me realize how far Hate can bring somebody, make him forget about the love of oneself and the love of people who are important to us. Before feeling hate just take a moment to think what it can do to you and the ones you love, the lives that it can destroy and the power that it can take away from you. The power to control your life and the capacity to be happy.

The symbols of conflict

Lately I read some of Gustav Jung's books. He used to write a lot about the importance of archetypes and images for human beings. When we think about something or someone we have an image that comes to our mind.
Disputes, conflicts and misunderstandings are a part of everyday's life. Everybody has a general or specific image of conflict.
This image is different for everybody. So today I just wanted to put some pictures that represent conflict for me.

IMAGE 1:  Money/Wealth

Money seems to be always present directly or subtly in a conflict and influence it's outcome.

IMAGE 2: Perception/Perspective

What is normal, what is not and the perception of THE other.

IMAGE 3 : Skull

The ultimate price of a war and violent conflicts : death.

IMAGE 4: Words

The power of communication is key to solve a conflict

IMAGE 5: Blue sky

This image is powerful for me because it symbolizes hope and change that can occur from a conflict.

Individualism vs collectivism in conflict management PART 2

First of all individualism vs collectivism is a false dichotomy because it nearly never happens that somebody is 100% an individualist or a collectivist.

Still as conflict resolution practitioners we need to assess and to understand our client's view of the world and it's impact on the conflict resolution styles and outcomes. 

Here are the main differences according to Hall (1976) :

1. Communication 

individualist : most information in the message , ''I'' is predominant

collectivist:  minimal information in the message, ''WE'' is predominant

2. Time

individualist : time is possessed, time and efficiency, time and productivity, time is owned

collectivist : time is contextual and relation-oriented

3. Causes of conflict 

individualist : individual pride, ego, possessions, sense of autonomy, power 

collectivist : group harmony, reciprocal sense of favors and obligations, incompatible relation-management

4. Styles of negotiation: 

individualist : competition, compromising, problems dealt with openly and directly

collectivist : avoidance, harmonizing, problems dealt with subtly and discreetly

5. Power

individualist : tangible as a source of reward and punishment

collectivist :  intangible as a source of esteem in the community and the relations

Here is a video if you want to learn more about individualism, collectivism and political ideologies. 

Individualism vs collectivism in conflict management PART 1

Individualism : Concept that all values, rights, and duties originate in individuals and, therefore, the interests of the individuals are (or ought to be) ethically paramount as opposed to those of an abstract entity such as society.*

Collectivism : Personal or social orientation that emphasizes the good of the group, community, or society over and above individual gain.*

My story 

I can say that I lived in both type of societies. I was born in Romania in 1981, a communist country until the revolution in 1989 when its dictator Ceausescu was executed. I was a child in the 80s but still remember a lot from my Romanian years. It was a collectivist society but not always the loving, caring one like a big family. Everybody was supposed to have the same things, you couldn't own anything, no real possessions, no real property. Your apartment wasn't really yours, you lived in the government's building, there were food rations and people had nearly the same salary from the fabric worker to the university teacher. At the same time sharing the little things you had with your family, your friends and your neighbors was not a question of choice. You had to in order to survive. In winter the government would cut your electricity and your hot water to save money. If you didn't have a candle left or some gas you were doomed if you couldn't go see a friend or a neighbor and borrow some of their things. My experience of collectivism was not all bad it made relations stronger, people bonded together and were generous with each other. Still was it really a choice or mere necessity?

Then in the 90s I moved to Canada. I had to learn that people have their own things, they possessed their house, their car, etc. It was theirs and there was no obligation to share with anybody. And then as I grew older I realized that a big part of the legislative system is aimed at helping them protect what they have and the more they have the more they want to protect it and make sure that other people don't take it away from them. That is part of an individualistic society where the individual is valued above the social entity. Now the social bond is less present in the human relations and people make choices regarding their own interests first. 

As conflict resolution consultants we have to understand what are a person's values are in order to maintain the respect in all the interactions and to enable a good communication process. We also have to understand and think about where we come from to better acknowledge our biases and limits as professionals and as individuals. 

(* from http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/individualism.html)

A ''brave new world'' of human connections

During the first year of my master I had a teacher who used to be a very renowned lawyer and was now teaching transformative conflict resolution strategies. One day after class I asked her why she gave up such a promising career as a lawyer to teach transformative mediation. Her answer was simple and short: because I never felt that I really solved a conflict I just fixed it. 

Conflict resolution is an art, a science and a knowledge that is universal. Everywhere around the world, every minute there are conflicts and people try to manage them and to solve them. The skills needed to succeed in a conflict intervention are based on dialogue and a wire of human connections. Every emotion has its place in an interaction between people who try to communicate, to understand each other and to build a world of possibilities based on respect and empathy. Nonetheless sometimes we just need somebody to assist us in highlighting the positive and universal capacity of human beings to connect to each other. 

Now I understand better what my teacher meant by wanting to really solve a conflict and not only fixing it; she wanted to address more than the legal issue, she needed to repair the lost human connection.